two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
