So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It's blow job season.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
