I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
