Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
