I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
