i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
