Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
