We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Damn victory sex feels great
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
