you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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