i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
You may now shotgun with the bride
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
