I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
