It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Enjoy the penises
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
