Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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