I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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