I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
