I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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