I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
