If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Even my vagina gasped.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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