Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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