if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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