listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
