Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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