i barfeds in our rink
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
