covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
