What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
