My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
