i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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