I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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