How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
