I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
