You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
