I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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