she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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