Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
