I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
