You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
