I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
