i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
