Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
