I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Randomize
