3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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