So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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