I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
