Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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