Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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