i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
