My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
