Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
