you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
