It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
