Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
