Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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