I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Randomize
