idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
