dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
