And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
